After writing my last post, I started
to notice that there is a great deal of not-so-scary things that
frighten me these days. Things such as percentages and piles of
dishes, prescription drugs, growing old and the gap between the train
and the platform. And lately: sleep. It's not the darkness that
accompanies sleep – I don't mind the dark. What gets me, is the
dreams and thoughts that come uninvited once I'm out. I've been
hosting some rather messed up nightmares lately. The one that is
still so fresh that it meddles with sleep's appeal right now occupied
me last night.
There was a dark path in a park, with
lots of shrubbery along both sides. As I had been observing the path
for a while, I knew that every night, drunk middle-aged men would
walk or cycle down this path – some of them would even drive. There
were different men every night, and they were usually lonely.
I liked hiding in the shrubbery, and
sometimes I would stick my foot out and watch a lonely drunk trip.
To make sure his head would hit the ground quicker than that his
reflexes could jump in, I would push his back with one hand as the
other pulled a tie-wrap from my pocket. This, I would loop around the
baffled drunk's elbows. I always pulled the string so hard that the
bends in his arms would meet behind his back.
At this point, the drunk was completely
defenceless. I remember being amazed at how easy it was to achieve
complete control over another human being, time and again. They never
got any wiser, these drunks. This was also the moment I lost interest
in them, and so the only thing I could think of doing with them was
make them sit down in a giant freezer.
When I woke up in the morning, it
wasn't the fact that I had dreamt of being a mass murderer that
freaked me out. In my dream, I had been trying to explain to my
family how I did it, while all they wanted to know was why.
This is why sleep scares me. It might
bring more questions that I can't answer.
There are meanings to your dreams that do not represent what you are actually doing in them. I read up on that stuff. I'm not into the psychic crap. I don't belive in reading my constellation. I do believe in dream interpretation.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the drunks are not the issue here. It seems you have a desire to master a technique involving co-ordination of your motor skills and the application of physical principles. Is there anyone close to you who has such skills that you might be envious of?
ReplyDelete