Raised by foster pigeons, worried by a creaky branch, our fluffy Baby Owl set out on a quest for wisdom.
“But where do I start looking?” asked a squeaky voice.
Baby Owl stopped and dropped mid-air. What was that?
Just before she hit the ground, she flapped her wings and started flying circles around the spot where she'd heard the voice. It wasn't me, she wondered, was it? Am I hearing voices?
She almost started to doubt herself, when she saw a field mouse scuttle away. “Where is it?” the mouse muttered.
I'm not alone! Baby Owl thought. She landed on a bush near the mouse, flattened her feathers and hooted: “You know you've really lost something when you don't even know where to start looking.”
She was trying to sound a lot smarter than she was - what she really meant to say was: We could be friends and search together!
“Oh hello there, wise young Owl,” squeaked the mouse. “You don't happen to know the way to kittencamp do you?”
“To kittencamp?” Baby Owl asked. “Do you need some help killing kittens?”
“Oh no! It's a meetup of geeks.”
If Owls could frown, Baby Owl certainly would be have been frowning now. For want of eyebrows, a face of wide eyed surprise sufficed. “Why is it called kittencamp?”
“Because everyone loves cats,” squeaked the mouse.
“It is my dream to make a puss purr.” The mouse made a purring sound. “That is the one thing I really want to achieve in my life.”
“Why don't you join me on my quest for wisdom?” said Baby Owl. “By the sounds of it, you could do with some.”
“In the words of the great Kanye West: I don’t take offense to anything anybody says about me at this point.”
“The great who?”
“School spirit motherfuckers!” The mouse jumped up on his hind legs and performed a funny dance. “Alpha, step. Omega, step. Kappa, step. Sigma, step. Gangstas walk, pimps gon' talk. Oooh hecky now that boy is raw!”
“Oh,” said Baby Owl, “Of course. Either way, I don't understand how I managed to lose my wisdom. It must have escaped through the first crack in the egg.”
“But why would you want to be wise,” asked the mouse, “when you can be cute like a kitten?”