Trophy 12 - Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll never see him again.

"Did I ever tell you about Elaine?" I ask.

With a chop stick, Gary tries to push a piece of cucumber out of his rice roll. "Is she a friend of your mum?"

The cucumber slides out, leaving a square hole. I steal it off his plate. They take all-you-can-eat very literally over here, and charge extra for every item you order and don't eat. Knowing Gary, pushing a piece of cucumber out of his sushi is a way of pushing the rules. He just wants to know whether they'll charge him 5p if he leaves it on his plate. I hate it when he does that.

Gary smiles at me and asks "How do you like my rice donut?"

"Gorgeous," I say and watch how he starts filling the hole with wasabi so that it looks exactly the way it did before.

"Elaine and I used to go to the same primary school."

"Damn, were you that young when she popped your cherry?"