This is going to be one of those “they were meant to be together” novels. I tell you what: I don't like that dumb bitch that has taken' it into her empty skull to write about me one bit. The way she sits behind her netbook in her silky pyjama bottoms and oversized purple hoodie, with a cup of warm chocolate milk and a pack of digestives within reach, makes me want to vomit right out of the webcam into her face.
So Joel and I have been together for as long as I can remember. We went to the same nursery school, where we played “I'll show you mine if you show me yours” like most other boys and girls. But we went to the same primary school as well, and stayed together. He has seen every stage of the development of my tits, he was the first to know when I had my first period – everyone assumed we were gonna get married when we grew up, but now we've broken up and that doesn't mean we're gonna get back together. We've split up in order to have mindblowing sex with loads of other people, and we will. End of story.
What part exactly of “go the fuck away” does she not understand? Stop following me!
*De_InNoWriMo stands for December, International Novella Writing Month. The fact that I came up with it doesn't make it any more likely that I'll succeed than my participation to NaNoWriMo would. I only came up with it because I didn't have a title yet.